


Stars

by magicalzombiebear



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fluff, Internal Monologue, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, finn stargazes, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 06:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5617492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicalzombiebear/pseuds/magicalzombiebear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn looks at the stars when he can. Sometimes, they're even in the sky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stars

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is now stormpilot infested if you wanna follow me at mcgrizzlethebear  
> I post some fanfictions on there as well

The stars were never done justice in Finn’s opinion. He’d always seen them, out the window of the base or when he was on the ground during missions. The words that people used to describe them just never touched their beauty as much as the stars themselves did. Most Stormtroopers did not stop to gaze at them, but once Finn’s mind had started to come back to him, it couldn’t be helped. They were the first things he saw when he’d come out of his daydream, and they were the only things that gave him a sense of purpose.

  
He knew from experience that staring too long would result in a rough shove from Phasma and an accompanying, “Move!” spat harshly into his ear. Every time Phasma spoke it was spat out, as if she disliked everyone in the galaxy. As more time went on and Finn’s conditioning weakened, he thought maybe it was less a hatred of the galaxy and more that she disliked her whole life.  
Finn couldn’t disagree, and so his distaste for Phasma became more like a respect, though there was no way he’d ever tell her that. And even though he’d acted tough when he made her disable the shields, he still dropped her down into the trash chute carefully. He honestly had no malice towards her. It was Hux and Ren who were her superiors, and it was them he’d been itching to fight.

  
During his escape, the stars had seemed impossibly large. They were the big, bright future he was craving and even in the midst of the chaos he had taken a moment-a millisecond really-to look at them. And then he was shooting and flying and whooping for the first time in his life. When was the last time he’d been so happy he had just yelled out? Poe seemed like the kind of man who did it all the time. Finn wanted that life so bad, but it wasn’t happening on Jakku. He was scared to go back, why couldn’t Poe see that? What droid could be worth that much danger?

  
It had turned out that BB-8 was actually pretty special. It was good in a pinch, utterly loyal and had no flaw Finn could see aside from getting a kick out of electrocuting unsuspecting humans. Plus, harboring a map that could lead to the only Jedi in the galaxy was a pretty big deal.  
But even though the droid might get him killed, and a first order ship was swallowing them up in order to do just that, Finn had seen the stars again. For one glorious moment he’d seen the shiny brightness that was littered throughout space and felt humbled. He was so small, and yet the universe allowed him to see the most beautiful parts of itself.

  
During their ride to Maz’s place, Finn had been occupied by helping Chewie and explaining to Han about the map. They’d been too close to the planet when he’d finally looked out the window at the beautiful green before him.

  
But he did see those stars again. He saw them in Poe Dameron’s eyes.

  
Finn never thought there would be a representation of the stars anywhere that would match it. The map in BB-8 was tainted with blue and too digital to be a proper copy.  
But then Poe’s dark brown swirls were lit up and trained right on him. No, Poe’s eyes were not actually stars, nor were they made of light. But they held the same captivating nature and they almost took the number one spot.

  
But then Han was taking him to find Rey, who needed to be saved as soon as possible (even though Finn knew she’d probably do just fine on her own). He saw the galaxy before him and took a moment to just experience it before they were approaching and Han was saying they had to land at light speed (honestly, who the hell was this guy?) and so Finn was holding on with all his might.

  
Finn didn’t get to see the stars again for a while. In the snowy woods, he’d been so focused on Kylo and Rey that he hadn’t had the time to look up, and even if he’d wanted to the trees had been dense. “Traitor!” echoed through him, right at the very core. The battle was sloppy on his end since he was better with a blaster, and Kylo had hit him near-fatally in the back.

  
For a long time, it was as though he was staring into a sky where the stars had disappeared. Though it wasn’t pure blackness, with the fluorescent lighting he could feel right through his eyelids. He could also occasionally hear bits of muffled conversation, feel the draping of a blanket or the touch of a comforting hand. Some touches lingered and others did not. Finn wanted to open his eyes so badly, he was tired of the darkness. He’d been in the dark his whole life.  
When he finally did manage to open his eyes, he was overcome with joy. He could see the stars again, only this time tinged with red and a lot more tired-looking than last time.

  
“Welcome back, buddy.”


End file.
